My Newest/First Ambition

For the past few days I have been reading Leg the Spread, a book all about one woman's adventures as a clerk at The Merc. I've plowed through it, which is nothing new for me, but I am having uncharacteristically strong emotional reactions to it. The reason, I believe, is that it is the first female perspective I've been offered. Also, the first of a newcomer to the floor. So much of the terror and pressure she describes were absent from the other trading books I've look through, books that are written by seasoned, male traders.

It has provided me with a new perspective on the trading world and ignited a passion in me that I've never had before; it has opened my eyes to a job that I want. I don't want to be to hasty in this decision, but I really want to be a trader.

There are pros (defy stereotypes, gain respect, earn shitloads of money) and cons (be constantly stressed, huge risk, become obsessed with money) of the profession, but as I read and the more I'm around trading, the more I want to do it. There is something, an "it factor" if you will, that outweighs all of those logical considerations. It doesn't matter that I don't have the personality for it or I still don't really know what's going on nor how much of the book is accurate, I want this. And I'm going to work to get it. I've never felt so focused on anything (at least career-wise) my entire life.

We'll see how I feel at the end of the summer, first semester, and my Duke career, but right now I'm gonna give it what I've got.